Category: Relationships and Boundaries
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If You Don’t Set Boundaries, a Symptom Flare-Up Might Step In and Do It For You
As a child, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to authority figures — even when your inner self wanted to say “no.” At work, you may have been taught to always say “yes” to your boss — even when your inner self wants to say “no.” In relationships, you may have been taught to…
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Can Standing Up For Yourself Help With Chronic Pain?
It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively — which means to live authentically — is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding — from others and also from themselves. — Nathaniel Brandenauthor: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem One…
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This Is How Emotional Invalidation Can Lead to Chronic Pain — And How To Heal
When our emotional wounds aren’t acknowledged and tended to with care so that they can heal, our nervous system produces armor to protect us from further harm. Armor can look like… The armor is designed to protect us from harm. And in the short term, it can do just that. But armor doesn’t heal our…
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Beliefs That Block Recovery From Chronic Pain
Tips from a chronic pain recovery therapist One of the most common blocks to chronic pain recovery is the culturally reinforced habit of invalidating our own emotional wounds. Pain is a danger signal that’s created by the nervous system when it feels unsafe. Sometimes the danger is a physical wound, like a broken arm. But…
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Forgiveness Isn’t the Only Way to Heal
Tips from a chronic pain recovery therapist There’s a ton of talk in wellness communities about the healing powers of forgiveness, including from chronic pain recovery specialists. And I can understand why. Oxford Languages’ definition of forgiveness begins like this: “[To] stop feeling angry or resentful…” Forgiveness is one route — and only one of many routes —…
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Chronic Pain and Codependency Go Together
And healing one can help heal the other. Have you heard people talking about the “psychosocial” approach to chronic pain recovery? It’s a popular phrase in cutting-edge pain science. I would put an extra emphasis on the word “social.” In my work as a chronic pain recovery therapist and coach — and in my recovery…
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Did You Know There’s a Connection Between Emotional Invalidation and Chronic Pain?
“All pain is real, and all pain is generated by the brain.” — Dr. Howard Schubiner, author of 𝘜𝘯𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘯“The brain processes emotion, memory, and pain in similar regions.” — @curablehealth We live in a culture that normalizes emotional invalidation. Emotional invalidation is like: If someone slammed your finger in a door and then…
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How Do You Feel About Your Parents?
Conflicting feelings are common. And they often contribute to chronic pain… Even in the most loving families, conflicted feelings towards parents are practically universal. This has something to do with the complexity of attachment bonds… And it also has something to do with the power dynamics between adult caregivers and children in a culture that…
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4 Steps to Pain-Free Communication in Relationships
Make talking to your partner a painless experience by identifying and working through your feelings. Have you ever noticed a chronic pain syndrome flaring up right in the middle of a big fight with your partner? Or while stewing in silent resentment about something they did? If so, you’re not alone. Not only have I heard this…
From Chronic Pain to Passion 