Why Do You Want to Heal from Chronic Pain?

The answer could help or hinder your recovery.

photo: Adeline Artistry

This was a barrier to my healing journey for a long time: I was ashamed of the fact that I — a therapist and coach who helps people heal from chronic pain — was still getting headaches.⁠

I had this idea stuck in my head that, in order to help others heal, I had to be “perfectly healed” myself. And that, of course, was stressing out my nervous system, big time.⁠

But it was more than that. Much more.

I thought that I should be able to see X number of clients per day, and perform my full half of the household chores (especially the ones I don’t like but think I “should” do), and be 100% “on” whenever my stepdaughter is around, and be automatically ready for intimacy with my partner at the “appropriate” time on a regular basis, and and and and…⁠

Are you getting a headache just reading this? I am 😅⁠

I had this idea stuck in my head that the whole point of healing was so that I could be “perfect” for everyone else and fulfill all of their needs so that they would like me.⁠

The problem with that? My body freaking HATED me when all I seemed to care about was other peoples’ needs, schedules, and expectations.⁠

And mind you, when it comes to my home life, I happen to live with a partner who would 100% of the time prefer that I do what works for me.⁠

But my conditioning had hard-wired me to try and guess what he wants and then try to make myself do that. A pattern that’s a total nightmare for both of us, it turns out!

👉 If any of this resonates with you, 1) know that you’re not alone. And 2) Here’s my invitation to you:⁠

👉 Instead of asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” when your body refuses to perform in the way you think it “should”…⁠

👉 Try this question instead: “What about this schedule/environment / social expectation isn’t working for me, and what’s one doable thing I can choose to CHANGE about it so that it works better for me?”⁠

Sending tons of love. And if this is a challenge for you — hey, it is for me too. Very much still workin’ on it. 😉 💗

For more support with anxiety and chronic pain, take the FREE QUIZWhy the *bleep* am I still in pain?! to help you get some clarity.

And follow me on instagram for daily healing tips, inspiration and support!

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